So this is Day 43 and here I am writing the very first entry on my very own sober blog – how did that happen ?!
My last Day 1 had been a long time coming. I had been trying to moderate my drinking on and off for a few years – all the usual strategies, only drinking on Fridays and Saturdays, never before 6pm, setting a limit of half a bottle of wine, alternating with soft drinks etc etc. All good in theory but hopeless in practice. By the time I reached the point where I knew I needed to stop drinking, I was glugging down a minimum of a bottle of wine virtually every day, often starting closer to 4pm than 6pm.
I felt horrendous. I slept badly, waking early with a furry mouth and a throbbing head and bloodshot eyes. My skin was puffy and dull. I struggled to remember everything from the night before and felt paranoid about what I might have said or done. Needless to say my penchant for New Zealand sauvignon blanc wasn’t helping with the anxiety I had been struggling with on and off for the last decade or so. You get the picture – in short, I was a wreck. And I was getting worse at a frightening pace.
On 31 March 2016 we were on holiday. The night before we had stayed up drinking with friends into the early hours. That morning everyone else had gone out for a walk and I was left alone in the house. I was going over and over things in my mind, trying to piece together what had happened the night before but I couldn’t remember. I knew I had to stop drinking.
So 31 March was Day 1.
It is hard to express how tough the past 42 days have been but I am still here, still sober and determined to remain so. Having kept my head down for the last six weeks I think it’s time to start lifting my gaze and looking to the future. I think I can just about see the sunrise starting to appear on the horizon…