Today I was clearing out a room for decorating. Hanging behind the door were various bags with odds and ends stored in them. As I rooted through one of the bags I felt something. As soon as I laid my fingers on it, I knew what it was.
In my last few months of drinking I would sometimes (well, often if I am honest) hide how much I was drinking. In the bag was a small bottle of wine – one of those miniature ones of about 250ml. It was empty. One of the ploys I used most frequently was to buy two or three of the little bottles and drink them alongside a regular bottle. That meant that I could drink up to two bottles of wine, but only appear to be drinking one. Because the bottles were small they were easy to conceal and dispose of. Except this one had been missed.
When I saw the bottle I panicked. Mr So was in the next room and I didn’t want him to see. I thought about putting the bottle back where I had found it and making a note to get rid of it when I had an opportunity. But then I started worrying that Mr So would sense something was up. If he found the bottle, he might think I had been drinking in secret. And I hadn’t – at least not since I stopped drinking 60 days ago.
So I took a deep breath and told Mr So I needed to show him something. I handed him the bottle and told him I had hidden it there when I was drinking, when things had got really bad. And all he said was “Well I hope you don’t mind me saying but I did think you were becoming a bit of a Miss Hannigan”. For anyone who isn’t familiar with the musical Annie, Miss Hannigan runs the orphanage where Annie lives. She has a drink problem.
“But not anymore ?” I said. “No, not anymore Mrs So” he said. And that was it.