Today has been really hard. I have been struggling. From the moment I got up this morning I have had that “Friday feeling”. Not the “thank goodness the week’s almost over and I’m looking forward to the weekend” feeling but more “thank goodness I can drink myself into oblivion tonight and I won’t have to get up for work in the morning” feeling.
Why is this happening now ?
This week at work has seemed endless. I have been busy but the time has dragged. Friday has been a long time coming. I don’t feel particularly stressed at work (this is something which has improved hugely since I stopped drinking) and home is fine too. I just feel a bit flat. I have tried to tell a couple of people I’m finding this sober business hard today but the message doesn’t seem to have got through. My not drinking is old news now. Among the very few people I have told, the consensus seems to be that after 79 days, I must have overcome my drinking problem. After all Tori’s a strong person with bags of determination and willpower – of course she’ll be able to stop drinking. She didn’t really have a problem in the first place did she? It’s all been a bit of a fuss about nothing….
I am going to go to the gym, have a bath, eat a healthy supper and get an early night. I am NOT going to drink. Tomorrow I will wake up clearheaded and proud of myself.