Sober Sunday

It’s lovely in my garden this morning.

Mr So is dozing in bed and our daughters are out for the day. I have been pottering around in the kitchen, taking my coffee out onto the patio to enjoy outside.

The garden is bursting with green and dotted with bright flowers. There  are bees journeying between buds and a pair of blackbirds darting back and forth gathering tit bits of moss. The grass is damp with dew. The sun is just the right kind of warm on my face.

I feel peaceful.

In theory, when I was drinking Sunday mornings were good. I didn’t have to do anything so it was OK to sleep in. In reality, I would wake early, after very little sleep with that horrible feeling of not being sure exactly what had happened the night before apart from that yet again, I had drunk far too much.

I would feel compelled to get up and tidy, clean, wash, iron – anything which would prove that I was super efficient and everything was “normal”. When Mr So came down everything would be spick and span including me. I might have finished off the wine left over from the night before but I glossed over that in my mind.

This morning I am not spick and span. I have bed head hair and am in my dressing gown. But I my bed head is clear and there are no niggling doubts about what I might have said or done last night. Spick and span can come later. How could I have thought my hung over Sunday mornings were “normal” ?

I am looking forward to a quiet day. A spinning class followed by coffee with a friend. Some gardening, Radio 4 and perhaps even an afternoon nap (naps are one of my sober indulgences). Time with Mr So.

As the words of the song go: It’s gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day.

Whatever you have planned this Sober Sunday, wherever you are on your journey, I wish you a sunshiny day.

Tori X

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