BIG News

At work yesterday I had a long and stressful day. One of my colleagues who knows that I haven’t been drinking, suggested that a large G&T would be in order when I got home and I replied something along the lines of  “I’ll have to make it a virgin mojito”. Another colleague then asked if I was on a diet or just trying to be healthier. Without thinking, the words “I don’t drink anymore” popped out of my mouth. The colleague asked if I had lost weight as a result and I replied “not an ounce” and that was it. That was it.

Thinking about how I would explain my not drinking has been a BIG thing in my mind. What should I say? How should I say it? When? What would people think?

Until yesterday the only people I had shared the news of my sobriety with were a couple of close friends, Mr So, my counsellor and my GP. Although some know more than others, they all know that my drinking had become a problem.

The colleague I shared my BIG news with yesterday didn’t seem to think much of it at all. Not in a negative, “I don’t know what all the fuss is about” kind of way. More of a matter of fact “not drinking is no big deal” kind of way. If it crossed her mind I might have a problem with alcohol, that I might even be an alcoholic she certainly didn’t show it. And whereas before I would have worried that people would be gossiping about me behind my back, now I don’t think they are and quite frankly if they are, so what?

I didn’t expect it to be this way. I expected to face challenges and confrontation. I thought I would have to justify my decision not to drink and be forced to share with others the truth about all the shameful things I did when I was drinking. Thinking about them as I write makes me shudder. I know not everyone will react in the same way as my colleague but saying those words “I don’t drink any more” felt good. So now I am not frightened about saying them again and again – I DON’T DRINK ANYMORE – and it feels great.

7 thoughts on “BIG News

  1. I remember the first time those words rolled off my tongue…It felt so weird! Nowadays, I feel proud and happy when I speak them! Granted, I don’t say it that often, but when I do, it’s grand! And its so funny about the weight loss…I have gotten asked that too and unfortunately, my reply is the same as yours!!! xo

    1. The weight thing is a pain but I think I look better and I am fitter. Am thinking of chucking the scales but I have den tied to them for so long. I even take them on holiday with me. That’s probably something i need to address X

  2. Well done ! In reality most ‘normal’ drinkers don’t really give it much thought – and the others – they are probably secretly a bit jealous x

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