I have written a number of times about the fact that since I stopped drinking, I have not lost any weight at all. I haven’t gained any but I was about a stone heavier than I would like to be when I started this sober journey and I assumed this would simply melt away as soon as I stopped drinking. After all 7-14 bottles of wine a week adds up to a lot of calories and I was probably snacking more while I was glugging back the Sauvignon Blanc. I also did minimal exercise – now I do spinning classes several times a week.
I have always been a bit obsessive about my weight. I think this come from my Mum who gives me a constant commentary on how much she weighs. She has always been petite and slim – 5 ft 3 and about 8 stone. I am 5 ft 8 and touching on 12 stone so not exactly huge. My family is generally quite “fattist” and I’m sure she comments on my weight behind my back. Sometimes she will ask me what size I am – she knows exactly what size I am – I wonder if she is just trying to make a point ?
This first sober holiday I have just returned from was also the first holiday I didn’t take my bathroom scales. That was a BIG thing for me. When I got home I was anxious about stepping on the scales but when I did I found that I had not gained or lost. Usually I would gain 4-5lbs over a week and the additional weight gain would lead to even more guilt and shame to pile on top of the having spent my whole holiday drinking and wishing I hadn’t. So I was pleased. And Mr So was pleased for me. He knows weight is a big issue for me and has been urging me for years to ditch the scales.
Since I stopped drinking I have definitely been eating more sugar and carbs. I used to think I didn’t have a sweet tooth but I think I was getting so much sugar from wine, any craving was being satisfied – or not – that way. In particular I have been eating cakes and bread and pastries – especially those involving icing ! I have also been pigging out on crisps and peanut butter. I have been worried that I have simply been replacing my alcohol addiction with an addiction to sugar. I have been reading around about this and it is very common.
So three days ago I embarked on a healthy eating regime. For now I have cut out carbs and sugar and I am eating fish and vegetables. The plan I am following also allows natural live yoghurt and a small portion of brown rice or oats each day. In the next phase more food will be reintroduced.
So far I feel good. It is a relief to have a plan. It is similar to when I first stopped drinking but the cravings are nowhere nearly as bad and because I am already well rested, fitter and in a better place psychologically I think I have some good foundations in place. I am feeling OK. I have waited for the right time to deal with my diet and I think that time is now.