I don’t see my brother very often. He lives quite far away and we are both busy. We keep in touch via the occasional text and as he sees my parents every week, they update me on his news and vice versa.
It is my daughter’s birthday this week and my brother and I had a text conversation (is that what it’s called?) about what to get for a present. As he signed off, my brother said that he has not been drinking for 2 weeks. Now as far as my family goes, my brother’s drinking is pretty normal. Drinking most days, generally wine. I don’t know how much my brother drinks but a lot of people would probably think my family is quite boozy. So I reckon probably 2/3 of a bottle of wine most nights. It’s hard to guess. I don’t think any of my family have any idea how much I was drinking and even if they did, it wouldn’t be that unusual and it wouldn’t be seen as an issue. As long as from the outside everything looked fine – which most of the time it did.
So although I don’t know for sure, I suspect that my brother did not have a healthy relationship with alcohol. Even if his plan is not to stop completely, I am pleased that he is thinking about his drinking. He sounds happy that he has not had a drink for a fortnight. I am happy, he is happy.
My Mum has also been in touch this week and one item of news is that she and my Dad are now having 3 or 4 alcohol free days a week and my Mum said “Tori it’s all thanks to you”. I am so pleased. I worry about my parents a lot and I am happy they are drinking less.
Finally, the friend I was on holiday with when I knew that I was had to stop drinking told me she is trying not to drink at home. She has 3 kids so she doesn’t go out that often. Her drinking is exactly like mine. For years we have been reassuring ourselves that we are not alcoholics even though in my heart I have known for a long time that I am. Interesting as I was typing that I nearly added the word “probably” but decided not to.
So my friend is thinking about her drinking too. What is more she sounds genuinely proud of me – I was concerned she found my stopping drinking was too close for comfort and remaining friends would place my sobriety at risk but I think we will be ok. The fact that she is supportive when before she was dismissive and even a bit defensive is wonderful.
So perhaps in a funny way I am starting my own little sober revolution among some of the people I love most in the world. Wouldn’t that be amazing! Xx