A Plan

Thank you to everyone who posted such lovely messages of support. I feel truly humbled by the kindness of people who have never met me but in spite of that are there for me 100%. I was struggling so much.

I have decided I need more help in “real life”. A while ago I was discharged from the drugs and alcohol service but I have arranged to have another meeting with my alcohol counsellor. That will be on Wednesday.

I really feel that I need to connect with other people like me. I know it sounds snobby and judgemental but I need to make contact with other professionals, high functioning people who have all the things I have (family, job, home etc) but who in spite of all that, or perhaps because of all that, struggle with alcohol. I do not feel comfortable with the idea of AA although I know that many, many people have found  it to be literally life saving. I have looked at SMART Recovery but the times and locations of their meetings are not very convenient. So on Thursday, I am going to a social group for people with alcohol issues.

I don’t know why but I hadn’t said anything to Mr So about feeling I need more support so when I found the group I sent him a text asking if he would be OK to look after our girls so that I can go. He came back straight away telling me to go for it. I don’t know why, but I felt embarrassed to ask him. It felt just the same as when six months ago, I blurted out of the blue (well to him anyway, it had been going round in my head for a long time) that I was going to refer myself to the drugs and alcohol service. I need to work on that. Mr So must know by now that I have a serious alcohol issue. For me though it’s still the elephant in the room.

So that is my week planned out. I have a plan. I like plans !!

6 thoughts on “A Plan

  1. Great decision. I don’t think you sound snobby and judgemental at all. I have found that when I’ve spoken with people who have radically different experience than mine, they have a hard time taking my alcohol problem seriously, even though they say they do. Finding in-person support is invaluable. I’m glad you’re taking concrete steps to help you past the tough times! xo

  2. Good job! Great plan! Figuring out what we need for each of us is so hard since there just isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution! I hope the meetings are what you need them to be! I think Mr. So just doesn’t want to embarrass you but he sure seems supportive. How wonderful, what a great guy!

  3. Hi Tori!
    I am so sorry I missed your last post.
    But I am very glad you made a plan.
    Everyone is different in what they need for support.
    I need many different kinds, real life and on-line.
    When I was teaching I often felt overwhelmed at the sheer amount of work to do.
    So I drank to try to “make it better”.
    Big Hugs!

    1. Thank you Wendy. As many tools as possible!! I really need to talk and to be somewhere where I can be frank and open without shocking anyone !! Xx

  4. Hi there, have you looked into sobersistas.com? I actually found this Sober Blog through them. It is aimed at strong women in recovery from alcohol dependence who have vetoed AA for various reasons, I have this amazing, there is also an Audio Book called Sober Revolution by the Founders Sarah and Lucy which you can download on a free trial from Audiobook, it has kept me off the sauce!

    Good luck, Amanda

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