I need to talk

Just that really. I feel an overwhelming need to talk. And talk and talk and talk some more. I have tried to address this by finding a group to attend – the group is great but I can’t exactly sit there and talk about myself. Also it’s supposed to be a social thing rather than group counselling.

I have spoken to my drugs and alcohol worker but while she is kind and supportive she can’t really give me what I need. What I think I need. I have texted my therapist but I sense he is very busy. I have an appointment with him but that’s not until December. Also I pay privately to see him and I don’t feel I can see him more than every 4-6 weeks, even if he could fit me in.

I did have two appointments with  a psychiatrist to sort out my meds but she discharged me.

I could see my GP but she doesn’t really seem to get it. I’ve stopped drinking so I must be OK, right ? My friends are the same and anyway what can they do ?

It did cross my mind that if I started drinking again that might elicit a response but I am not going to do that.

I post here and on a Dry board but sometimes that makes it almost worse because it shows me that support is tantalising close but just out of reach.

Also I don’t now how much of how I am feeling now is to do with my drinking and how much is down to my underlying mental health issues. Can stopping drinking and thinking about how awful it, lead to a low level kind of PTSD ? was It could be the time of year. It could be hormones. I feel well and truly stuck.

6 thoughts on “I need to talk

  1. I use a life coach. Weekly phone calls from my house and I get to talk and talk. I have learned a lot about myself and the outlet of talking to a stranger has been wonderful. I don’t have to drive to an office and I get to make/drink tea while chatting. Been a lifesaver for me. Just a thought.

  2. Maybe a short period of weekly therapy? It would probably be cheaper than the wine you used to drink and could be very beneficial? I think this stage is tricky , early early sobriety is done, but there are loads of things that come out after months of clarity…

  3. I do understand what you mean. I had been where you are now, for so many years 🙁 In the last few years, once I realised what I was doing to myself, I kept on doing huge lengthy periods of sobriety and then lapsing, because of it. Despite the online support thread we both share! However recently I signed up to Belle’s Sober JumpStart class at the level that gives me daily email contacts if I wish. She emails regularly and replies to mine. It really helps me just to send an email and know within an hour or day she will get back to me. I also get a new podcast available every day, a weeks worth at a time and a new one minute message every day . It has made all the difference this time round to my mental health and rather than just ‘not drinking” I have actually worked through a whole load of the reasons why I drank and why I had such a low self worth and felt so damaged that I kept on self medicating with alcohol the way I did. I can honestly say that on Day 50 this time around I am in the best place mentally physically and emotionally I have been for decades. All without medication or outside therapy, apart from Headspace, Belles emails and podcasts.
    Maybe there is something similar, that would work for you?
    hugs xxx

  4. May I suggest something? I’m not sure if you’ve tried mindfulness but mindful walking can help a chattering mind. It’s finding peace and acceptance within ourselves that’s so important.
    I can recommend a book called Mindful Walking by Hugh O’Donovan.
    Good luck on your journey x

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