A couple of days ago was my eighth month soberversary. I feel OK. For once things are quite stable and I feel as if I am on firmer ground. The last month has been a really hard slog, not so much in terms of staying sober – I don’t really think about drinking any more – but more in terms of all the “stuff” which life brings.
I have found a new therapist. I like her and I trust her. I think I will get a lot out of our sessions. I still feel sad about not seeing my old therapist. In a way it’s a bit like a mini bereavement and at times I have been very tearful about it. I am sure I will get there eventually.
I have stopped going to the group I was attending. It was too hard being around people for whom moderation rather than abstinence is the aim. One of my dreams, perhaps when I get to one year sober, is to set up a peer support group locally, offering the kind of support I would have liked myself, would still like. A bit of a real life version of the dry board I post on and the sober blogs I follow. The idea is there but I’m not sure what to do about it. I am not yet “out” about my problem with alcohol in the same was as I am with the mental health challenges I have faced for most of my life. I am worried about what would happen if my work found out that I had set up a group.
Yesterday I received a voucher from the online grocery store I use. Apparently I have been shopping with them for 12 years and they sent me a £10 voucher as a treat. They identified sauvignon blanc as an appropriate gift – looking at my shopping history over the years this is entirely reasonable – so the voucher was to be used to buy wine. I emailed then back thanking them for the voucher and explaining that as I no longer, I won’t be able to use it. They immediately sent me a new one ! I am pleased with myself – this time last year I wouldn’t have been able to use that voucher quickly enough. I would have added a few extra bottles for good measure and because today is Friday, and we all know what Friday nights mean for drinkers like me – the old me.
So I am OK. I am going to buy flowers or a candle with my voucher. Something to remind me how far I’ve come.
Happy Sober Friday XXX